Wow. since November of 2011!

It has nearly a year since I have been here. I haven't done much writing. My writing shut down on me as I went through the turmoil of my son's cancer / stroke, a beginning of a divorce, into the divorce and grown children being devastated. They needed someone to blame; I took the blame, still am. Well, my son's cancer is gone. One year survivor. He fights his stroke damage now. Much has changed, especially me. My past year is a novel in waiting. Through it all, I have returned to God in a most complete way. Of course, my children do not see it because they wish nothing to do with me. At least my grandchildren are seeing it, my colleagues are seeing it, my students are seeing it. If I was a visual art artist, the picture would begin in dull colors, colors of my life just before my son's cancer. Those colors would have changed quickly into grays and blacks with hint of dull and bright colors as I struggled with my son's illness and my personal emotional well-being, wondering why God could not change what I had been asking for before my son's illness and wondering why my son had to become ill during this time. The artist then would have changed the colors, slowly, very slowly, from the grays and blacks back to the dull colors with a few more brighter colors. As the canvas would be seven eighths filled by now, the last eighth saw the greatest change. The colors would be in their fullest strength, the gray and black so minute that there would be only dots, only a few, a handful. No, a change didn't come to keep the marriage together because the man didn't fill his pallet with colors. However, my colors, I hope, even though we are not together, will help him as he sees me differently--I can only hope. I do have to see the man who was once my husband once or twice a week due to my son. The canvas is overflowing and wanting to spread. God has done a good job, and has much more to do through me now.

Grace and Love to all. Hope I will be here more to give sketches!